diff --git a/qubes/app.py b/qubes/app.py
index 85792b36..30570e6e 100644
--- a/qubes/app.py
+++ b/qubes/app.py
@@ -248,6 +248,8 @@ class QubesHost(object):
     def memory_total(self):
         '''Total memory, in kbytes'''
 
+        if self.app.vmm.offline_mode:
+            return 2**64-1
         self._fetch()
         return self._total_mem
 
@@ -256,6 +258,9 @@ class QubesHost(object):
     def no_cpus(self):
         '''Number of CPUs'''
 
+        if self.app.vmm.offline_mode:
+            return 42
+
         self._fetch()
         return self._no_cpus